we did not learn

2012 and we are back in 1962.  World leaders are shaking their sticks, threatening with their bombs, and prices going up.  My kids are not coming home telling me that they were tough how to get under their desk.  My neighbores are not building bomb shelters.  And the biggest story on the news is who will have the best dress on the Red carpet and the latest dumb ass thing Obama did.  Dam people does anyone see what is happening.

The news I do read has me worried.  Israel will defend her self and the world will have a fit and Iran will try its best to play with the Big Boys. Their is an Iranian women is setting in her house just like the Israeli women wondering what about their kids safety. We are all re-living the late 1962 fall where the world went crazy but this time we are the parents and fearful for our children. 

These kid have lived without much incidence, well at least here in the US.  My kids have never wonder where their meal was coming from, they have  360 channel on the TV, computer, the internet, and Facebook.  Their is Friday night games at the local high school, will he ask me out for prom, and I need some new Nikes.  My horses and dogs enjoy the days and are feed well, my husband drives off to work, and other then me being one of the so many unemployed, everything sounds and seems so normal.

I have friends that attend "seeker friendly" churches and live in some type of disillusions, food price are going up, and I was just invite to my Gay Friends wedding.  Gas continues to move to that four dollar mark which will flip people out for just a bit and before you know it that will be normal too. 

What is going on? I am not the only one.  I could not be the only one who has not bought into the bullshit.  I have been told by many people that I am pretty smart and have it together.  I agree and my ego loves that but come on now.  This stuff is sample and anyone could see that it is just a bit way out of control.  I was reading today that their is a church doctine that is teaching that people are "little Gods" and that man himself can ring in the peace and does not even need Christ.  Wow, was all I could think.  Once again the people are fighting about the "Right" to kill babies in the womb and once again state that it is a personal choice but now they want my taxes to pay for it.  More and more we find ways not to take responsiblies.

Grief and shyness is going to be made into a "mental illness" and the doctors uncheck are the biggest Drug Dealer in town.  We as a people may it be in the US or anywhere in the world are really just letting things get out of control. 

What happen to question what is going on, OH I am sorry I would not be PC if I call it what it is...  Dam people stand up and take it back.  But what are we going to take back.  It we look at the 1950's in this counrty that was just a dream for a small few who were in the so call middle class and of a color which was accepted.  But what we do know that all were able to question and willing to fight for what was and is is right.

Talk to a young person today and you will fear.  They are like little automatnos.  They dont question unless it is a parent who has said no to use of the car or they can not have those new nikes.  They dont care about learning and cheating has become an accepted way to get by in school.  Adults seem to care even less as they seek self joy, newest high, and getting layed.  Well at least that has not changed.  Hay just to let you know that Grandmother are now in the early 40's and I have even met a great grandmother who was just 50.  WOW. 

My mother said some 40 years ago that the world was going to hell in a hand basket and she was right.  She said it would be my generation that world lead the world to hell.  I think she was right.

What do we leave our kids... We leave them 1962 all over again but this time I think the stupit bastards may really do it. 

I really do have too much time on my hands between mailing and emailing the resumes off trying to find a "position" not really digging on the Housewife sceen but trying to wear it and getting use to it.  Because maybe it is not that bad.  Just have to remake myself.  I can run an office get people moving on a project, and show good profit even in bad times.  See just to much brain power doing the house work, it is not 1950 and I am not the "mindless" TV mom.  G*d how I wish I was.  I would not be so worried.

I want to know for myself will I and can I stand, or has my whole life been as much as a joke as I see the world now.  The day is here and it is not coming.  We are here and can we stand like our father did and "fight the good fight".

Prayer my children is what we have left.  This what we can give our children because that is the only and last thing we have.  Believe and do not be mislead beacuse all of this in set to lead you down the dark road which you will not come back.

THOUGHT OF G*D

A THOUGHT ABOUT G*D


It has been brought to my attention by someone close that I have had a break in my faith. I thought this statement to be most queer because I do not see it. But when a person who as close to you brings up concerns or what they feel to be important, I believe one should stop and think about what they have said. I am lucky, I have people who are close to me that keep me on track and they are not stupid people. They are “pretty” smart. So when my dear friend stated that he felt that I had lost my faith and was angry with G*D. I just had to think about what was said and because it is me, more important WHY.

I start with the statement being angry with G*D. I thought, was I angry and if so why. Some people around me would believe it was because of the stupid Cancer. It seems like everyone around me wants to put everything on the Cancer. I don’, it is just something in my life to be addressed and overcome like anything else. But I guess, I can see how people may see it that way. I thought on it and I am not angry with G*D. I have not display any of my negative or bad behaviors which I have when harboring anger. I had to look at what behaviors I have display which may appear to look as if I was angry with G*D or anything else. I have had one fit of yelling but that is not anger with G*D as it is anger with me and not being able to control every single thing in my life. That is one thing that Cancer does effect is ones abilities to self control their life. Too many appointment, test, treatments, and other people attitude and fears about Cancer.

Since this issue of anger had been explored and did not reveal anything to assist with my friends concerns. I next had to look at my faith and what I call my relationship with G*D. I have heard my Christians friends talk about what they call “Their close personal relations with Christ” I ask myself do I have that? Before I could go there I had to ask myself what did they mean and how do I understand that statement. I want everyone to know if you Bing this “close personal relationship with Christ” you will get over nine million Web listing, try it if you don’t believe me. I did not read all Nine Million sites and I know that has some of you flipped out who really know me but this is just one of those really “unanswerable” questions and not even I can find the answer on this one. But do check out some of the sites they are a trip. Now back to the question of relationship with G*D. Let cover some background on how I approach my faith.

First of all know that I am Jewish. I have logically chosen to accept Christ. And…, NO, I am not going to argue The Jew or Christian thing, in this writing because the focus here is my relationship with the Lord in which my friend is concerned and very worried.

What is my relationship with G*d and how do I feel about the whole G*D thing anyways. You know? I really never have thought about it before this pasted week. Funny to sit and think about something which is so simple for me, I thought. But my friend deserved an answer. What is G*D to me? G*D is the person or feeling I talk with daily. It is the feeling of not being alone and having a constancy of companionship at all times. I know this does not sound right but this is how I feel. My friend stated that the reason he felt I had walked away from my faith was because I was not reading, studying, or praying any more since the stupid Cancer thing started. I could see that may seem like a behavioral change. But the behavior my friend had witness is how I cope with thing most of the time. I have to become still and quit and focus my mind. This type of activities for me does not leave much time to do other activities. I have to it taken on faith and this is the time when I just think. I had a man sum 25 years ago tell me that there comes a time to put the books away and trust what you know and just do. This is a time for quit thought and open dialogue with G*D. Now this could be a Jewish thing or it could just be a faith thing. My friend was concern about how a prayed and I will explain it to you as I explained to him. I don’t ask G*D for things. I ask for him to keep me strong and keep me from being taking down the wrong path in the things to come. See I do feel that we may be very close to the End of Days and I just don’t want to go negative during that time. See it does worry me because eating means everything to me. I just don’t want to sell out on G*D for Bread. I have never asked the Lord to help me with location of a job, money when I need it, or healing when ill. I am not sure if other prays like I do because praying is a private thing as we are told in my Jewish faith. One does not do it openly. One is to go quit to their place and have dialogue with G*D. I do not blame G*D for events in my life good or bad. I take responsibility for my actions due to the fact that we do have Free Will. G*D does not force us to be a part of him and his gifts. I have made this choice but with this choice there are rules and ways of living which I feel are very good for me. There is also the other side to this choice of G*D there is also the dark force which fights daily to destroy all. I was told by another person who had this G*D thing down very well and he stated “closer you come to your G*D hard the dark force will fight to drag you down and break your faith” Now, I believe this. You will hear “Why does G*D allow things to happen” remember there are two forces working out there. That should help some. I was also asked by this friend if I thought I was being tested. This was interesting because this really had not crossed my mind. Tested, WHY, I believe that G*D know my heart. I think it would be a pretty lame test in the since what is going on in my life is not the bad or hard. If G*D was going to tested you, I think he would do something BIGGER. I could be wrong.

The point is… I don’t feel that I have dropped my faith or walked away from G*D. It appears that things are like they always have been. But let me share what I have learned. I know that I have some very special people around me that care. I know like my G*D they will never walk away or I from them. I know they are there to keep me on track and moving forward in my life with a since of reality and focus. My friend I spoke of is really two people very close to me my husband and best friend. I love them both very much. Jimmy has been with me now for 18 years come this week and we have had both the good and the bad of days but it is the bad that brings us “oh so ever close”. The other is Mike who I have known for 30 years. A brother he is too me and like my husband he has always been there. I am a very lucky person to have both of these special men in my life. One as my husband and the other I call friend. These are two of my gifts from G*D and that is enough to prove that G*D is real to me and in my life.